(00:00:00.327) Unknown speaker: Here, you're good.
(00:00:02.427) AJ Riedel: So how's your week so far?
(00:00:04.327) Anthony Calleo: Ah, it's been great. It's been filled with a lot of really wonderful conversations, so I'm grateful. How about yourself?
(00:00:10.427) AJ Riedel: It's been good. Yeah, same. Fascinating conversations.
(00:00:15.727) Anthony Calleo: I love it. I love it and
(00:00:18.027) AJ Riedel: I just started. I'm starting my finally, after months of planning, I'm starting my six-month pilot program. And I've had a couple onboarding sessions with the founding members of the program. So that is, you know, a dream come true because I've been planning this six-month program and dreaming about it for a while. That's
(00:00:39.827) Anthony Calleo: amazing. Well, congratulations on that milestone. Yeah.
(00:00:43.027) AJ Riedel: Yeah. And it's been an interesting process because I got some initial pushback early this year when I was starting to sell it to talk to people about it. So then I did a couple then I kind of capitulated when people said what I'd really rather do a month of coaching, you know, the six-month program seems too much. And I recognized I realized that the one-month coaching was nearly enough. I was doing them a disservice. And in fact, one of the women that I did two months of coaching with early this year signed up for the program because she recognized that it's not a quick fix.
(00:01:22.327) Anthony Calleo: Never, it's never a quick fix.
(00:01:25.327) AJ Riedel: isn't, which is, you know, which is a problem in our quick-fix world.
(00:01:30.827) Anthony Calleo: We want
(00:01:31.527) AJ Riedel: everything to be easy and quick.
(00:01:32.927) Anthony Calleo: Totally. I mean, that's the old, you know, corporate mindset of find a problem, fix a problem immediately. But, you know, sometimes things are not problems. They're dilemmas, right? Which are a lot more complex, you know. These are not flat tires, you know. Can't bring it to the shop and have us plug them, you know?
(00:01:49.627) AJ Riedel: Exactly. Yeah. They're much deeper than that. Yes. Well, I like to start out with a little bit of deep breathing to get centered and put aside anything that's taken place up until now in the day. So it is, I like that. In yoga tradition, it's called the belly breath. But I like the term Andrew Huberman, who's a neuroscientist out of Stanford, calls it the physiological sigh.
(00:02:19.427) Anthony Calleo: which I love because it it
(00:02:23.127) AJ Riedel: sort of it, relaxes your nervous system and when I do it, it's a very quick way to relax the nervous system, so I like to do that. So I'll walk us through it and then I'll cue us as we do it. So what I want you to do is take a really deep breath. Fill your belly up completely, fill your chest, your heart up completely, and then take another little sip at the top to fill up even more. Hold for a second and then exhale with an audible sigh out of your mouth. We'll do that three times. So
(00:02:54.627) Anthony Calleo: if you're
(00:02:54.827) AJ Riedel: comfortable, close your eyes. Exhale. Inhale. Fill up a little more. Take another little sip. Exhale with a sigh. Fill up your belly. Fill up your chest. Take another little sip. Exhale with a sigh. And make this the biggest breath you've taken all day. Fill up your belly. Fill up your chest. Take another sip. Exhale with a sigh. And now we're ready. So, a couple of things. And I know this won't be a problem for you. The best podcast episodes are when there's some vulnerability and some sharing of stories. So, I like that and the kind of questions usually lend themselves to that. Oh, on the day, we're probably looking about eight to 10 weeks out for the podcast to drop. On the day it drops, you will get an email from me with the live links to the three podcast platforms, to my YouTube channel, to the show notes on my website. And you'll get a zip folder with a bunch of short videos, one to two minute videos, that are juicy bits from the podcast episode that you can use in whatever way you see fit.
(00:04:44.027) Anthony Calleo: Awesome. That's amazing, AJ.
(00:04:46.277) AJ Riedel: And then on the day, also on that day, I always post a LinkedIn post about the episode. I also send it to my email list, encouraging them to go and listen to the interview. And I'm trying to remember to tag the guests in that post.
(00:05:06.177) Anthony Calleo: Yeah.
(00:05:06.877) AJ Riedel: Which I sometimes forget to do because I do it in Post Planner and you can't tag them in Post Planner. So I have to go back in and tag, but I will try to. I will, by that time, be in the habit of at least sharing the post with you so that it hits your feed so
(00:05:21.977) Anthony Calleo: that
(00:05:22.577) AJ Riedel: you'll be sure to see it. Okay.
(00:05:23.977) Anthony Calleo: So
(00:05:24.277) AJ Riedel: Do you have any questions?
(00:05:25.677) Anthony Calleo: No, no, that all sounds wonderful. Those were the questions I would have. So, um, you've done this before. So you know what the questions are?
(00:05:33.877) AJ Riedel: I do. Yes, I'm getting there. It's amazing. I've been doing this about eight months, and it is amazing how expert I feel. I guess it's because I've done so many. I think you're my 50th interview in eight months.
(00:05:51.477) Anthony Calleo: Wow, that's tremendous. Good for you. Yeah,
(00:05:55.077) AJ Riedel: Yeah.
(00:05:56.077) Anthony Calleo: That's so much. You know, putting out so much thought leadership and sharing so much. Do all those conversations. That's amazing. Good for you, AJ. Yeah.
(00:06:05.277) AJ Riedel: And, you know, it's my target audience. I mean, these are the people I serve, that I get to interview. What a gift.
(00:06:12.677) Anthony Calleo: and
(00:06:13.377) AJ Riedel: I come from a research background, market research. And what I mean, when I think about it, is like, I get all this wonderful research. I mean, I understand, I can truly say that I understand self-employed consultants pretty darn well. I've interviewed a lot of them.
(00:06:28.677) Anthony Calleo: Exactly, it's
(00:06:30.977) AJ Riedel: Pretty cool. But anyway, now I'm gonna, I'm gonna stop talking and let you talk. One other thing, I do an intro to this. So I will introduce you by name, but trust that there will be an introduction, so they will know who you are and a little bit about who you are before. So that's a long-winded way of saying I'm not going to do a bio. I'm going to jump right into the questions.
(00:06:56.077) Anthony Calleo: Got you, and I've seen you like previous posts, and you know the format, so yeah. However you do that is amazing.
(00:07:02.977) AJ Riedel: Okay. And is it Calleo?
(00:07:06.177) Anthony Calleo: Calleo.
(00:07:07.477) AJ Riedel: Calleo. Yeah, Calleo. Okay, all right, well here we go.
(00:07:11.577) Anthony Calleo: Awesome.
(00:07:15.977) AJ Riedel: Welcome Anthony Calleo to the Thriving Through podcast. I am so delighted to have you as my guest today.
(00:07:22.777) Anthony Calleo: Absolutely thrilled to be here, AJ. I've very much been looking forward to this.
(00:07:26.477) AJ Riedel: Me too. A couple of questions that I start with. I ask all of my podcast guests: What was your path to becoming a self-employed consultant?
(00:07:39.177) Anthony Calleo: Oh, it was a long, windy path for sure. Just a little quick explanation to that: I had about 30 years in corporate, in various roles, and always had this path in the back of my mind. I kind of always saw it. To make a very long story short, I just didn't have the bravery and maturity to pursue that path at the time for a whole myriad of reasons, which, you know, I would love to get into because I think that story is helpful. But, you know, with time comes some wisdom, and I decided, quite frankly, to make a long story short, I was not gonna lean into my fears and I was just gonna lean into what's possible. I decided to go down this path of being self-employed much later on in my career, right? So I dipped my toe into it, setting it up as sort of a side hustle, and then about a year and a half ago, left from what I firmly believe is my last corporate role to go full-time into this effort, because I really think it requires that much energy and attention to bring it to life.
(00:09:00.077) AJ Riedel: What was that sort of defining moment when you were working at it as a side hustle? So when you said, 'That's it. I'm gonna quit.'
(00:09:10.377) Anthony Calleo: Yeah, it was defining moments, not a moment. It was sort of like building up, and it's, you know, I believe in, and I think based on conversations that you and I have, we believe that the more you open yourself up, the more possibility flows in, right? And I mean it in a psychological sense, conditions that were handed down to me by various people that were in my life, in a quantum physics sense. Right. And you know, I'm a slow learner too when it comes to cracking open the door of, you know, various consulting people who are already in my life, who were softly encouraging me to go down this path. And as I went down that path, new people started coming into my life, and that continues to this day, including our relationship, AJ. You know, I don't think it's an accident that we're here, talking to one another.
(00:10:03.157) AJ Riedel: And
(00:10:03.157) Anthony Calleo: That's exactly
(00:10:04.257) AJ Riedel: right.
(00:10:04.657) Anthony Calleo: so And at it any at any was, point that happens it in wasn't your life. a It's a it's moment. It a was wonderful a thing, series right? of And moments, that sort of, you I know, will sort never of take got me away to from where the I am relationships, today I and, built with you the people I met in know, it's a corporate. complete I mean I've in. got some lifelong I friends and am and not a colleagues big believer in that I'm still in in touch with and I regret could and, you certainly say know, you I'm a take what better off. you've learned I'm and you moved ready on. to And be in I, if this role that I'm I in look back now on and it, I'm fairly certainly I, a better, a person better off I had believe known all that, I them, now, so I wouldn't trade, you know, I wouldn't give away any of that. Right. You talked a little bit about fear. So I think this this is I'm kind of setting you up to talk about your fear based decision making here. What is the hardest thing you've been through and how did you overcome it? you know, I think it's, you know, getting through that, you know, going through those and possibility walls that we put up for ourselves and that, you know, quite frankly that negative, you know, self-taught, you know, and that that doubt that always comes in our head when we want to try something a lot of
(00:11:04.257) AJ Riedel: a, you know, a solopreneur. And somebody that needed to be out there sort of advocating what I do and offering what I can offer to a much broader audience on my terms. To get to that point, I had to get through the fear, and that's the, you know, and the biggest fear, quite frankly, which I don't know, and I'd love to get your thoughts on it, but I do put it in that fear category, is getting over imposter syndrome, right? And, you know, and that played a big role in
(00:11:27.857) Anthony Calleo: my corporate career, quite frankly, which is part of those masks that we wear, right? And so it's about showing up as who I think, whoever I'm working for or whatever relationship I'm in, showing up as that person as
(00:12:01.157) AJ Riedel: opposed to my true authentic self. And I think that that is, I don't want to call it fear-based, but I think that's all under the, you know, fear umbrella. Yeah, it absolutely is because, I mean, imposter syndrome is feeling like you don't belong in the room, right? You know that it was a fluke, and they're gonna find you out, you know, some of that you're going to say something and suddenly they're gonna say, oh my God, this guy, really, it's very real. And it, yeah, it's a big, big thing. So thank you for
(00:12:15.157) Anthony Calleo: opposed to my true authentic self. And I think that that is, I don't want to call it fear-based, but I think that's all under the, you know, fear umbrella. Yeah, it absolutely is because I mean imposter syndrome is feeling like you don't belong in the room, right? You know that it was a fluke. and they're gonna find you out, you know, some of that you're going to say something and suddenly they're gonna say, oh my God, this this guy, really, it's very real and And it yeah, it's a big big thing. So thank you for
(00:14:16.567) AJ Riedel: During that. So tell us a story or two about the biggest challenges you faced building your practice and how you've overcome them?
(00:14:27.267) Anthony Calleo: Yeah, that's a great question. I got to tell you because of that path that I took and how I got here. I think I only had really one big challenge because again, I think life was preparing me for this moment, but at the point in which I made the decision to kind of go out fully on my own, an opportunity presented itself, which I seized upon immediately and upon reflecting on that, I look at it now and it was very much the decision to get involved in that project was very much fear-based, right? And it really wasn't any different than I had decided, you know what I should just take another full-time corporate role. And so, I leaned into the fear and into my fear again, which, you know, we've got to give us some grace on that. And it's not unlike burnout, like burnout can take us years to get burnt out. But once we burn out, even supposedly after we recover to get burnt out again, it's a much shorter fuse, right? And so to jump right back into feeling those fears and that self-doubt and sort of not having an abundance mindset more of a scarcity mindset of, okay, I'm out on my own. Where's my income going to come from? Yeah, I made such, I mean, I'm not such great decision, right? And so that's probably the biggest hurdle that I've had to overcome but I've just have again, as I said before. I have some wonderful set of people in my life who's just incredibly important including family, right? And you know, so inside and outside of family and so it's a, you know, I think when you operate, I take that back. I know when you operate from a state of presence, there is no right or wrong, right? You're just on the path that you need to be because you're operating from a state of presence. And so that's with the exception of that one moment where I kind of slid back a little bit, I really haven't felt I haven't had any of these. Oh my God. What am I doing moments.
(00:16:33.067) AJ Riedel: How do you know looking back? You, you can look back and you can say, okay, those decisions were fear-based. How do you distinguish between fear-based decisions and legitimate business caution?
(00:16:48.267) Anthony Calleo: Yeah, that's such an interesting question. I think it all comes from being in a state of presence, right? And I define that by the way for you and everybody as being absent of your programs and conditions, right? And so we're all or many of us are a product of our programs and conditions, right? And they were handed to us from teachers, from society, from parents and not out of a malicious manipulation, right? It's they were running their programs, they would do what they knew. And so if you could if you could move those programs and conditions aside and just be present. Then it's just you and you're making decisions and you're putting out and to the quantum energy field and getting back, what you need to receive. And so I really think it's it's that simple. And once I feel like a little bit of fear or for me, if I feel like I'm being triggered, which for me is a physical sensation of, in my shoulders, and my neck,
(00:17:47.567) AJ Riedel: when I
(00:17:48.367) Anthony Calleo: feel that feeling I know up, I'm in my programs and conditions, right? And so, there's a little bit of a practice that I have to get me back into my present self, and then my decisions will flow from there.
(00:17:59.267) AJ Riedel: Okay, give me an example of a programming condition, you know, help us sort of dimensionalize.
(00:18:08.767) Anthony Calleo: Whoa, that's a really good one. I'd like to think I shed them all so I don't know them anymore, but you know, I think a programming condition for me would be this character of what a consultant should be, right? I see this a lot with startup founders, where they've got this beautiful idea, this beautiful product, but when I see them present themselves, they're presenting as a character of who they have been taught a startup founder should or shouldn't be, rather than being their authentic selves. It's the same thing in my case. For example, I put myself out there almost daily on LinkedIn. In the early days, I would think, okay, what does the audience want to hear and what might or might not land? That was when I got the lowest amount or no engagement. When I started going from my state of presence and saying, hey, listen, this is really what's on my mind, I'm putting myself out there as my authentic self, it either resonates or it doesn't. But the fact of the matter is, it's going to resonate with the right people, and with the audience that it doesn't resonate with, they're not my audience. Which is, again, not being dismissive. That's fine. They're just not my tribe, not the people that I should be aligning with.
(00:19:33.467) AJ Riedel: You know, that's a really important point, is that when we are wearing that mask, we're attracting people that are not our ideal client. One thing I think it's important for us to get comfortable with is that we have an ideal client that is going to be attracted to us. So everybody else, they don't matter, you know, just let them go. Like you said, they're not your tribe. That is a really important thing to learn.
(00:20:07.167) Anthony Calleo: Yes, and I find that it can go back to that fear thing of, oh my God, if I'm not all things to all people, I'm going to lose a sale. How am I going to get sales and make money? You get into that scarcity mindset again. That's another example, quite frankly, of leaning back into the fear with that voice popping up to say, hey, listen, man, you better not narrow yourself, right? That's what we start telling ourselves. But you're not narrowing yourself, you're attracting who you need to attract. There are two aspects to that. One is, if you add on what you and I are talking about and you're a people pleaser, that can get you in a whole lot of difficulty. But at the end of the day, even if you are attracting those other clients, the amount of friction you're going to have to manage is not worth it. It's just not worth it. You find yourself in the middle of a difficult engagement, contract, or conversation. Quite frankly, it's not that there's anything wrong with those people, they're just not the right people for you. They're not aligned. I would argue that they're stuck in their programs and conditions. Again, I don't mean that in a disparaging way because it's just how they operate, and a lot of people operate that way. But yeah, it's about attracting the right people, and if you start fearing, am I going to attract the right people, that's when you're back into that fear-based model, and that's not going to serve you well.
(00:21:40.867) AJ Riedel: It's a certain confidence and trust. That whatever your intuition, your intellect has told you as your target market or your ideal client, or whatever research you've done, just trust that.
(00:21:55.867) Anthony Calleo: Yeah.
(00:21:56.467) AJ Riedel: Yeah, I want to talk. You've used this word a lot, and I want to kind of dig into it a little bit more. Authentic. Your authentic self. What exactly does that mean?
(00:22:10.367) Anthony Calleo: Oh yeah, so I mean, it's just really being comfortable with yourself, loving yourself, right? It's the old, you know, make sure you adjust your oxygen mask, right? You know, as they tell us on an airplane before you reach, you know, go to a love because you got to make sure you are all right, right? You got to make sure you're setting your present, and that allows you to not only attract who you need to attract in relationships and business. It just allows you to be a lot more comfortable with who you are, right? And that's where the authenticity. I mean, even like, you know, I use words like authenticity because it's a label that people understand, but at the end of the day, it's still a label. You don't even need authenticity, you just need to be yourself, right? But we, I mean, we do need to put labels on these things so we can sort of describe the concepts of what they are. But it's just about loving yourself, being comfortable in your own skin. And that'll emulate and that'll attract what you need to attract.
(00:23:16.167) AJ Riedel: Right, what comes to mind for me as you're saying that is, we will, in a lot of ways, we have to chip away the exterior, you know, the layers. Like there's a story that I love. Have you ever heard the story of The Golden Buddha?
(00:23:32.767) Anthony Calleo: I don't believe, I have no
(00:23:34.667) AJ Riedel: Well, in Tibet, when the Chinese army invaded Tibet, they were marching through the country and decimating the temples. The monks in the main temple were worried because they had this huge golden Buddha. It was too big to move, so they couldn't take it away and hide it somewhere. They covered it with plaster, but then the army came through and killed all the monks. So there was no memory, no one knew that this plaster statue was actually solid gold underneath. Hundreds of years later, they were trying to move what they thought was a plaster Buddha to the new temple, and they cracked it. When they went to repair it, they found out there was this incredible, priceless treasure underneath. I love that story because that's sort of what our journey is in life. Life covers us up with plaster, and our job is to chip it away. When the golden Buddha within all of us is showing through, that's when we're our authentic selves.
(00:25:02.807) Anthony Calleo: Yeah. I mean, that's absolutely beautiful. You know, and what I would say is, it's letting go of things that don't belong to us, right? These were things that were passed down. I think the stat is, we have anywhere from 60 to 70,000 thoughts a day, right? Of those thoughts, only 5% are new thoughts. So we spend most of the time ruminating and being stuck in just repeating those stories and things that we believe. If those stories aren't mostly good stories, we're doing a huge disservice and a lot of damage to ourselves, and we carry that into our relationships with everybody else. So yeah, I love that story of the golden Buddha. It's just another version of the mask-wearing or shielding. So you got to shed that plaster and, as you say, let your golden Buddha shine.
(00:26:03.107) AJ Riedel: How have you shed your plaster?
(00:26:05.707) Anthony Calleo: Um, again, it's kind of the same thing with my journey of how I got here. It was this evolutionary process, right? Starting off very early in my career, wearing a very thick plaster because I had this character of what I thought I needed to be to my employer and to my family. Over time, through the various people who have come into my life and being open to it, some of those people, I mean, one of the most beautiful stories I love to share is one of the people that really was a catalyst in me changing my thinking was my oldest son. Typically, it's like parents teaching their kid, mentoring their child, and raising their child. But his sense of awareness and, quite honestly, some of his youthful challenges of the way the world is, was one spark for me. Looking at that and learning from that, and then just all these other people coming into my life where slowly but surely, I got to a point where I was like, wait a minute, there's a different way to do this. I will say, actually, this just popped in my head, I had a very good friend who was going through a coaching certification, and she needed somebody to work with. So I volunteered, I said, hey great, free coaching, and I got to work with somebody I love. Together we tackled my imposter syndrome, which I had really no idea about. I didn't have a full appreciation of what it was and where it was coming from. I would say that also was a big catalyst for me now going on the journey. But again, it wasn't one thing, it wasn't one conversation. It was what I call spiraling up. You could spiral down, you could spiral up. It was a spiraling up of different people that come into my life. I know I use that phrase a lot, but I find that the more I do this deep work, the more I draw people into my life who are like, oh wow, I just had this conversation with AJ and she just gave me this other perspective that I didn't even think about, and again the door opens a little wider, and that just keeps happening.
(00:28:20.207) AJ Riedel: if you're open to it,
(00:28:22.607) Anthony Calleo: if you're 100%, if you're open to it, right? You
(00:28:27.407) AJ Riedel: yeah. We talked about when we met earlier. We talked about networking and how you, well, and we talked also about sales conversations. And you, what do you call sales conversations? You have a term for it.
(00:28:47.737) Anthony Calleo: I mean, I take, I mean, you know, one would argue it's a consultative sales approach, right? But it really is, you know, it comes down to listening and being heard, right? So it's like listening to the person that you're speaking to and if they have a set of problems or challenges or opportunities that you can solve and when I mean you could solve it, not a product that you can ramp or a service that you can ramp down and throw. It's like, wow, I have the solution for what this person's looking for, then you can make the sale, right? But for me, whether it's sales and networking, it always comes down to intentionality, right? If you're like, hey, you know what, before I sell anything to AJ, I want to know who she is as a person, right? I want to get to know as much as AJ's comfortable sharing. I want to get to know them as a person and then learn about some of their challenges and opportunities that they have, right? I think if you take that approach as opposed to, I have a number to meet or I have to sell this thing, right? And that's where sales quotas and targets can really become problematic and not that those aren't important for measuring business performance. But those are the results of doing all the intentional work you're doing, alright? If you do that intentional work, all that other stuff takes care of itself, right? And so for me, it's more of having a consultative approach of really understanding what the person wants. And not, again, working out of the, my only goal out of this conversation is just to leave AJ buying something from me. If that's my only motivation, I'm putting that out there in the quantum field. And I'm gonna repel, I'm gonna repel you every time, right? It's going to be a tough sell, or even if I make the sale, it's gonna have all that friction I talked about, which is, you know, working with clients you shouldn't be working with.
(00:30:42.937) AJ Riedel: exactly. Yes. So when you do networking, you do networking with intention.
(00:30:52.537) Anthony Calleo: Yeah.
(00:30:53.037) AJ Riedel: How do you structure a networking with intention conversation?
(00:30:58.637) Anthony Calleo: Well, you know, and it came out of a realization many years ago. When I went through a reduction in force, I was like, I desperately needed a job, right? And so it's that scarcity mindset. And so every networking conversation I had, if it was with you, AJ, would be like, does AJ have a job for me? Is this going to lead to a job? And I realized not only is that not fair for the person, it's not fair for me, right? And once I put that aside, it was like, hey, I just wanted to get to know an interesting person and if there's an opportunity there, let it organically grow. That's what we need to do. So, for me, the first intention is just making a human connection. Meeting somebody interesting, leaving each other a little bit better at the end of the conversation, and sometimes you give a little bit more than you get, which is fine. And then from there, if there's an opportunity to organically do business together, great, if not, you left each other a little bit better, right? So maybe it's a piece of wisdom, maybe it's advice, maybe it's some constructive criticism, whatever it is. So for me, it's not going into a conversation being strictly transactional, right. I'm going to try to pitch this and hopefully get back that. Once you remove the transactional part of it, and it's just the conversation and you're showing up as your true, present self, the conversation is going to flow a lot easier. And it could be that if you don't close a deal at that moment, people who use this approach tell me six months, two years, even two years down the line, they'll remember, you know what? I had this conversation with Anthony. I now have this need, let me go reach back out to him, right? So you're just setting those really good intentions of, listen, I'm curious about you and what your challenges and opportunities are. And if there's a way for us to partner to address those, great, if not, maybe I know somebody. Maybe I can refer you to AJ, or I could refer you to somebody else I know. So again, it's going in there and not having this transactional mindset of, I got to get something out of this conversation, other than just the human connection.
(00:33:18.177) AJ Riedel: Right. Just the satisfaction of having met a new person.
(00:33:23.577) Anthony Calleo: 100%. Exactly.
(00:33:26.577) AJ Riedel: We talked about when I introduced myself initially. I talked about the revenue roller coaster and you, you nodded and you you mentioned that lead generally developments the number one issue that you hear in your networking groups. What patterns do you see? And how Consultants sabotage themselves?
(00:33:48.877) Anthony Calleo: Yeah, it's a great question and you know I think it has really a lot to do with going out there and trying to copy somebody else's model. Now that's not to say that there aren't good sales coaches out there and lead generation strategies. But when you spend an inordinate amount of time trying to focus on somebody else's lead generation because you know, in the age of social media you know that's probably not as much there there. As you know as that person's purporting. But again it comes down to and it comes out to me of like you know again being in your present self and saying okay what's right for me and then those things that we just talked about about not having that scarcity mindset because that's when you think you're on that down curve that's when the desperation starts setting in right? And that's the well maybe I'll be a little less choosy and quite honestly that also goes the same for career choice too. Where you know where it's like you begin to maybe you're out in that market for a little while and you begin to worry about. Where's my next paycheck going to come from which is not an unrealistic worry per se but it when you wind up making decisions, you know, out of scarcity rather than at more of an abundance mindset. So for me, it's what you'll find. And here's the irony too. If you find, if you shed yourself of all of that and you don't have those, you're not telling those stories. Like where's my next sale gonna come from. And man, I'm on a down cycle. Once you shed yourself from that and you're operating from a state of presence, the sales start flowing, they, you know, it just happens. And you don't end up having that situation where I don't have sales because you're attracting and aligning with the people. You need to align with when you need to align with them, right? That might sound like a mouthful. But again, it's all about, you know, going from, you know, operating from a state, a state of presence. Because it's that. And I think it's the It's a lot of like lead generation is no one ever, you know, thought through all I've got to go through this formal program to know how to do it. No, you'll know how to do it. If you're operating from a state of presence.
(00:35:55.977) AJ Riedel: Okay. Tell me you aligned or you, or you signed up for or became certified in a reset? It's something called Reset It.
(00:36:09.477) Anthony Calleo: Yeah, it's a Reset It Specialists. And you know, essentially what we do is kind of what I've mentioned several times throughout our conversation. Here is what we help you do is shed. Shed the things that don't belong to you and get out of your programs and conditions. So it's a methodology that allows you to reset. So you get rid of those programs and conditions and then it's just you, and then we've got this whole ecosystem behind it. So it's basically two, 90-minute sessions that help you reset it. And then there's this supportive ecosystem behind it and it's, you know, it really is, it really is a beautiful program and in order to participate as a specialist we need to reset it ourselves, right? Because if not, I'm just passing my programs and conditions on to my clients, right? So one of the beautiful things about the program is we practice what we preach and anytime that we feel like we're getting locked into our program. Conditions, like I said before, shoulders get tight neck. Neck gets a little tight. Then I know. Okay, I need to reset it. And that'll sometimes happen during a client engagement, too where we'll break off the engagement, reset ourselves and come back in, but it all is really centered around that. And I got to tell you AJ, that program came into my life through a friend who built the program again. No accident that that program came to me, because it really spoke to me and I knew it was something that I needed to add into my practice because, you know, any type of cultural change really requires leadership to be fully present, right?
(00:37:46.177) AJ Riedel: not,
(00:37:46.477) Anthony Calleo: you know, not have leaders show up with their masks on, right? And that's how true cultural change, true employee experience can connect and execute. So, yeah, the Reset Program really spoke to me and it continues to.
(00:38:01.277) AJ Riedel: Is it something that you require clients to go through before you work with them, or how does it fit in with what you do from a consulting standpoint?
(00:38:13.067) Anthony Calleo: It's usually a mix. I mean, it could be just a standalone, like, hey, I'm an individual contributor or I'm a leader that just wants to do some work, or as part of a cultural employee experience engagement. It would be a really early understanding with the leadership team of, like, look, you will have to be bought in here, and the leadership team can be an owner or it could be the C-suite. You'll have to be fully bought in, and you will have to be fully present in order for this to work, right? Otherwise, you're not only trying to implement what I'm trying to teach, but you're also going to be dealing with the friction of having people inside your organization that don't think this is the right path to go on, right? So it's bringing everybody in and making sure that as we're building this culture, we're not doing it from a programs and conditions standpoint, right? Because otherwise, we all show up to this work location with all our baggage, right? And then we're trying to deal with one another when we're not in a state of presence, so it really is a crucial element. So if I see that there's a lot of mask-wearing and there's a lot of friction, that's when I'll recommend that, look, we need to reset as a team, including myself, before we can start doing the work that we need to do.
(00:39:31.067) AJ Riedel: Can you tell by looking at a client if they are not present?
(00:39:37.267) Anthony Calleo: You really can, you know. I was just telling a story, and I kind of alluded to it before, but I do a lot of work and thought leadership in the startup community here in New York. I was at a recent networking event, and I could see founder after founder getting up there and talking about their businesses. They were really talking from, as I mentioned before, this character of who they thought a startup founder needs to be, maybe based on a book they read, and maybe some of the networking groups they were in. They weren't really operating from a state of presence. And again, I'm not suggesting any type of intent to defraud; it's just that's the mask they were wearing. What I find incredible is when you're operating from a state of presence, how much you can immediately recognize when somebody's not. I'll give you another quick, non-business story. My wife, unfortunately, had a cousin who passed fairly recently. We were at the wake and at the service, and I just saw his entire family was really mourning based on what they felt like mourning should look like, right? They weren't really in a state of presence. It just seemed like they were not only carrying the burden of, in this case, a father, or an uncle, or a brother who passed, but also carrying the burden of thinking, this is how I need to act in a social setting. It really blew my mind because I never saw, in that particular setting, through my lens of state of presence, anything like that. You'll find that when you're operating in a state of presence, you can actually recognize it, right? What you do is you try to receive that, you try not to take on that programming, and then you try not to get triggered because otherwise, I'm just reflecting my programming back to them.
(00:41:33.767) AJ Riedel: Right? So you said, you could tell with shoulders. What are some other ways that, you know, for yourself that you are not in the present moment?
(00:41:43.567) Anthony Calleo: It's typically. I mean, it's typically for me, it's literally the, you know, the physical feel, they go of my shoulders and, and, and, you know, neck tense up. That's usually the, that's usually, you know, that's usually a trigger for me. And then it's also the sort of this, I don't know how else to say it, but the sense of that something's off, or something's not quite what, you know, quite right with that person. Now, you know, the challenge is not to fall into your programs and beliefs or, like I got to somehow try to fix this person, right? They've got to be ready as you, well know, AJ. They've got to be ready to receive it right? And like you've mentioned before, you've got to be open to the, you know, the possibility. And I think, you know, some of us can fall into that mistake of trying to fix somebody and it's particularly more powerful as a member too, because you want to try to heal them and put them in a better place, but you've got to, you know, you've got to really be careful for that. So for me, it really is the neck, the shoulders and, and I've had that, I think probably all my life and only realized that fairly recently that that was my trigger.
(00:42:52.557) AJ Riedel: What would this is kind of a couple of wrap-up questions as we near the end of our podcast today? What would you tell yourself three years ago? When you decided to make the leap into at least a side hustle, knowing what you know now, what would you tell that you about building a consulting practice?
(00:43:14.057) Anthony Calleo: Oh man, I would just tell myself have some more grace and be easier on yourself, you know, just, you know, and just approach yourself with a little bit more grace.
(00:43:25.457) AJ Riedel: Love it, love it. And now I have a couple rapid-fire wrap-up questions. Say that five times fast. What's one book, podcast, or resource that's been invaluable in your consulting practice?
(00:43:39.157) Anthony Calleo: Oh man, I have, well, I'm gonna give you a book because you asked for a book, but I have a couple. The Four Agreements was just very, very impactful for me, you know? And I try to live those, I try to live those every day.
(00:43:56.057) AJ Riedel: Okay, so The Four Agreements,
(00:43:57.557) Anthony Calleo: great. Yeah.
(00:44:01.257) AJ Riedel: A year. What about business books, any business? But I mean, Creativity, Inc., by Ed Catmull, which is
(00:44:10.257) Anthony Calleo: actually over my shoulder. I think that, that was, you know, a very telling, you know, a very telling book when it comes to, you know, managing managing people and creatives and just his approach to business. I will tell you. And again, I know you only asked for one, a arguably, a non-business book, but I think it has Sweeping business and implications is five regrets of the dying, which is just absolutely amazing. And it's very appropriate for our conversation here today. AJ, you won't be surprised to learn that. The number one regret is at, you know, at the time of death, the number one regret is not being your authentic self.
(00:44:53.457) AJ Riedel: Wow. Yeah, yeah it seems interesting. It strikes me that, well, at least this is my, my feeling is that we don't always know who our authentic self is, but we know that we're not
(00:45:08.357) Anthony Calleo: 100% 100%.
(00:45:11.557) AJ Riedel: Yeah. So another rapid fire question. What's one thing? You wish you'd known before starting your practice.
(00:45:20.957) Anthony Calleo: I wish I'd known before starting my practice. You don't need to have it all figured out.
(00:45:25.157) AJ Riedel: Oh yeah
(00:45:25.957) Anthony Calleo: You just don't need the website and the business card. I mean all the things that you know, you can pile on, you just don't need to have it all figured out.
(00:45:39.357) AJ Riedel: Very good advice. Yeah, and that because a lot of times that stops people from actually getting going because they say I've got to have this and I've got to have that, and they don't get started at all.
(00:45:52.357) Anthony Calleo: right,
(00:45:53.057) AJ Riedel: what's next for your business?
(00:45:56.557) Anthony Calleo: Um, it's the key. You know, again, keep building from a place of authenticity. Right. It's, you know, practicing what I preach and we talked about is, you know, attracting people who want to work with me, who are aligned with me, you know, doing a lot of good with the Reset It program and helping a lot of people out there. So that's very purpose-driven for me. So it's just continuing to do what I do. And really just following that last piece of advice I have is not thinking that I have it all figured out, right? And so it's just, you know, it really truly is and you know at the risk of, you know, what somebody might call a little woo-woo when you're working from a state or presence. You just know you're on the right path even though you don't know and you have a certain, you know, somewhat of an idea of your destination, but certainly not an idea of exactly how you're going to get there.
(00:46:50.657) AJ Riedel: And that's okay.
(00:46:51.357) Anthony Calleo: And that's okay.
(00:46:52.757) AJ Riedel: Yeah, I mean we're trained to feel like we need to program our mental GPS and know exactly how to get there, but then you kind of miss the, you know, you're heading down the highway and there's the Ball of Twine Museum, and you sort of say, well, that would be interesting. I'd like to go see the Ball of Twine Museum, and it takes you off your destination for a little while, but it was worth it.
(00:47:16.357) Anthony Calleo: I love that. Yeah, it's funny. As soon as you said that, AJ, I thought like just, you know, have the grace to know that when you hear the words recalculating, you know, you're like, that's okay. It's just, it's okay. Because that means it's going to get you to where you need to go, just in a different way.
(00:47:30.557) AJ Riedel: Yes. So relax and don't freak out when you took the wrong turn and your GPS system is
(00:47:37.327) Anthony Calleo: recalculating. Exactly.
(00:47:39.727) AJ Riedel: And now this is the last most important question, how can listeners connect with you if they want to learn more about what you do?
(00:47:47.727) Anthony Calleo: LinkedIn is the best place to go. It'll direct you to everywhere else. And again, I'm interested in thought leadership and authentic conversations, you know, following that philosophy that we talked about throughout this call, so you know, follow, reach out to connect. And, you know, I'd love to have a conversation with folks.
(00:48:07.827) AJ Riedel: Okay. Wonderful. And I will put your LinkedIn URL in the show notes so people can click right on that and get connected with you, Anthony. Thank you so much for being my guest today. I really enjoyed our conversation, and for the listeners, that's a wrap on this podcast episode. Until next time, keep thriving.
(00:48:42.827) Anthony Calleo: That was awesome. Thanks, AJ. I really, I mean, it was everything that you advertised. It's like, hey, we're sitting on my couch and we're just having a conversation. I love it.
(00:48:51.327) AJ Riedel: Oh, thank you, thank you. Yeah, I'm in. I'm enjoying it. Doing it. I have. I went to offer you something. And I kind of
(00:49:02.527) Anthony Calleo: follow-up. Sure.
(00:49:05.027) AJ Riedel: And but more because I think it would be valuable for me to get your feedback on it. I have developed a marketing effectiveness assessment. It's actually a business development effectiveness assessment. It's an online assessment and then I follow up with a consultation to go through the results. And fully transparent, the consultation, if there are some gaps that I can help, the consultation becomes that consultative sell process. Not trying to sell you, but I would love to take you through that consultation and get your feedback on how I did.
(00:49:46.727) Anthony Calleo: I love it. Yeah, I know. Way, way, happy to do anything like that for you, AJ.
(00:49:51.827) AJ Riedel: And for myself, quite frankly, I mean, you know, all you sleep benefit from the processes as well too. So absolutely. Cool. Well, I like to. I have a philosophy that I learned from my podcast, people call, Bam, fam. Book a meeting from a meeting.
(00:50:10.527) Anthony Calleo: Right. I kind of felt like that's probably what that meant. So yes, let's do it.
(00:50:15.327) AJ Riedel: Okay, so I'm bringing it up. You are Eastern time zone. As my link shows up,
(00:50:21.427) Anthony Calleo: I am, I am. And I will, if you're West Coast, I do meet later in the evenings my time too. If that's necessary.
(00:50:30.127) AJ Riedel: Okay, I don't know why this isn't showing up. Let me go back. Technology is wonderful when it works.
(00:50:42.027) Anthony Calleo: Oh please, I know.
(00:50:47.427) AJ Riedel: Come on. It just must be slow. Well, we might have to go back to the old-fashioned way,
(00:50:59.027) Anthony Calleo: Okay?
(00:51:00.827) AJ Riedel: Here it comes, maybe. It's not. I know I have some kind of activity, but it's not working. So what's a good time? Let's look at maybe next week or the week after. What's good for you? When is
(00:51:21.527) Anthony Calleo: a good time? Yeah, let's look at next week. I know Labor Day is coming up. I'm kind of taking a little time off even though we're not really a quote-unquote company. I could do September 4th at 4, which would be 1 o'clock your
(00:51:49.527) AJ Riedel: time. Perfect. Yes. Okay, cool. Let's just do that then. If that's perfect, let's do that. Okay, so September 4th at 4:00 Eastern. I will create the meeting link on Calendly and send it to
(00:52:05.327) Anthony Calleo: you.
(00:52:05.427) AJ Riedel: Perfect. So fabulous. Well, thank you. Thank you.
(00:52:09.727) Anthony Calleo: Absolutely. Now, is there any pre-work I need to do, or is that call part of the assessment?
(00:52:16.027) AJ Riedel: Yeah, you'll need to take the assessment.
(00:52:21.867) Anthony Calleo: Okay, cool. I just want to make sure that once you send that, I want to just make sure I get that done and give you a couple of days to look at it. So yes, that'd be perfect. So when I send through the, you know, get a confirmation and the link to the assessment is on...
(00:52:38.467) AJ Riedel: that
(00:52:38.967) Anthony Calleo: confirmation perfect. Yeah, I'll definitely try to jump on that right away. Like I said that way you have an opportunity to look at it.
(00:52:44.967) AJ Riedel: Okay, perfect. Well, it was a joy to talk to you today. And oh, one other thing too. I'm putting together a, I call it the Thriving Through Alumni Network, and it is a group. I'm trying to create a community of self-employed consultants, especially the ones that have been on the podcast. It's just a way for us all to collaborate, refer, and network, and spend some time with like-minded people. So, in my thank you email, I'll send you the link to that. I would love to have you join.
(00:53:21.067) Anthony Calleo: Yeah, I love that. You know, I tell everybody, even the startups I advise, because inevitably they have this group of advisors, think about building communities. It's not just about this one time we talk quarterly about product updates and stuff, it's about building community, building relationships. So, I absolutely love that, AJ. I would be honored to be part of that.
(00:53:43.367) AJ Riedel: Cool. Yeah, you know, it dawned on me just a couple of weeks ago, it was that intuitive thought that said, start a group, don't let all these people be one and done.
(00:53:55.467) Anthony Calleo: Yeah, yeah. And you kind of like, you know, you become a special cohort then, right? Because you're all guests on this podcast, so it's neat.
(00:54:02.767) AJ Riedel: Yeah, cool. Well, thank you for your time today, and I will look forward to talking to you next
(00:54:08.567) Anthony Calleo: week. Yeah, same here. AJ, you be well,
(00:54:11.267) AJ Riedel: Thanks.
(00:54:11.567) Anthony Calleo: Bye.
