Tommy Rhoads Full Interview Transcript
Welcome and Defining Thriving
AJ: Welcome to this episode of the Thriving Through Podcast. Today, my guest is Tommy Rhoads. Tommy, I have been looking forward to this interview for quite a while. Welcome.
Tommy: Thank you so much for having me, I appreciate the time.
AJ: Wonderful. Two questions... actually, the question, the new question that I've been starting out with, as the name of the podcast is called Thriving Through. What does thriving mean for you?
Tommy: Oh boy, that's loaded, isn't it? Well, as all things, that's a matter of perspective. So for me, I've spent a long time figuring out how to channel all of this energy that I've got possessed inside of here, and how it's really meant for good. And I've spent my life in service, and most of the time, it didn't feel like it, because you're in the guts of it all.
However, when you find that avenue that allows for you to do what you're passionate about, that skill set that you've created for yourself, or that you've somehow brought along the way, for me, that creates an avenue of success, unprecedented as anything else I could do for myself. It's in service of others.
And so for me, what I love so much about the spaces that I've been able and fortunate to operate in is that it gave me the space to work with people, to see other people thrive. And for me, it's better together than it is alone, and I think we'll probably dabble in that conversation a little bit along the ways today, but what I will tell you is it's a scary world alone.
And when I think about thriving and thriving through, when I think about those things, it's doing it in a journey together. So I'm so excited to be here to be able to share any of those lessons, but to me, that's really where I see thriving come through.
The Journey to Self-Employed Consulting
AJ: Wonderful. So second question that I ask every podcast guest. What was your path to becoming a self-employed consultant?
Tommy: Boy, oh boy, we don't have time for that journey, do we? It's been a long journey. I could spend the next 3 hours just trying to tell you about the crazy journeys I came through, but what I've really come to understand is that we really only have two things in this life. And my wonderful executive coach has always told me that we have time and timing.
And so what I think about is so great about what's happened now is my journey is all of this time I've spent invested in developing tool sets, resources, networks, friendships, relationships, understanding the inner workings of jobs that you gotta get in and do it. You roll up your sleeves, you get the scars. Those are the things that allow for you to come back in this and say, how did you come to this idea of where you want to go with that? And the truth of the matter is, folks need support.
Folks need resources. You find that when you work within organizations, and I think you'll find this about myself. I've been a consultant no matter if I've worked for an organization, or if I was doing it independently. And I think that's really what's so important, is this skill set gives us an opportunity to really work with people and help us down this journey.
And for me, that was why I went down that path. I took up every little resource I could along the way. I learned any really obscure new skill set or trend that was out there. I had a vision board 15 years ago, this is no joke. 15 years ago that had something along the lines of, I need to get something called Lean Six Sigma certification, and I really need to figure out if I need to get a master's degree. You need to figure out what I gotta do.
And it's interesting, because laying those things out, as I go back and I look, it was all a part of the journey. So whether it was me running restaurants, or as a line cook, because that's what I am by trade, I'm a line cook by trade. As a line cook, you think of a line cook, and here I am today, and I'll talk to you about some of the really wild adventures I've been able to go on, but it was being open and willing to take on new journeys, to take on new tasks, to take on new capabilities.
And frankly, and without any hesitation, I just said yes. And so saying yes really led me to a lot of success. Now I'm learning to say no, because that's the important part of the journey, is when you actually learn that you gotta let the really reliable stuff through the door.
But for me, it was about the journey. It was about taking each of these wild steps into new disciplines that I had no idea what I was leaning into most of the time. But it's paid off in spades on the long run, because I was willing and open to saying yes, and that was really the journey that I've gone in, is the journey of yes.
And now it's a journey of discipline and structure and focus and discipline, where it's focused on helping folks identify what their priority work is. And that's kind of what I love about doing it, is because I can see all the chaos, and then narrow it down.
Growth Mindset and Learning to Explore
AJ: I love it. I love the curiosity and the openness. You're willing to say yes. How many of us... I have to admit that willingness to say yes doesn't always come easy for me. I like my nice little comfort zone, and our brains like to keep us in our nice little comfort zone, so the fact that you have what Carol Dweck calls that growth mindset, that curiosity. You are able to not let your survivor brain run you.
Tommy: Yes, correct. It's in there, because that monkey brain is in there. The monkey mind runs wild on me all the time. I still, even at 43 and all the things I've done, I still work on tightening up that headspace, because it's so noisy nowadays. It's just crazy noisy.
AJ: No, I was just complimenting you that you have wrangled your survivor brain a little bit, kind of broke it in a little bit, which is a skill. I went down... I took the Positive Intelligence Mental Fitness program for that very reason, because my survivor brain was running the show. And when your Survivor brain's running the show, you're not really gonna venture out into new stuff.
Tommy: That's correct. And for me, I'll be honest with you, it was this willingness to just try and explore new things. I was introduced to that concept when I was very young, to be honest with you, and I didn't realize where it was ever gonna pay out, or where it would play out for me, but really what happened, I got asked to be a part... it was called Spectra. It was the Advanced Accelerated Mind Programs when we were kids.
And so they pull you out of your normal standard classroom, and they put you in a classroom where they basically said, okay, Tommy, what do you want to explore? And guess what? You get to go explore anything you want! And so man, I loved that. That was 5 when that happened.
So it was like, you want to dissect the shark? We'll get you the shark. Perfect! I want to dissect the shark. So I figured out how to dissect the shark at 7. The funny thing about it is, though, what that did for me in an adult space is unprecedented. What it did against me, though, was it taught me how to not be a normal student.
So I have had a very difficult churn through education. I could... I memorized everything, so through the 9th grade, I aced everything. Then when it got to a point where you had to learn in a classroom setting about how to be an adult, or how to be, at that point, as a child learner, and then leading into how to be an adult learner, I'll be honest with you, I was crippled.
I was paralyzed. I didn't go back to school until I was almost 28 to get my bachelor's degree. And then I ended up getting my master's degree, and now I have a slew of alphabet behind me, but I went to college to play baseball. That was the only thing that I had driving me to go do that before, so I was not a student, I'm not an intellect, and most people hear this about me, and they're like, wait a minute, no way, no, I failed out.
I feel like I didn't graduate high school, because my grades were so low, and it was because I was just at a point where it was a mess, and I was living through things, and it is what it is. It's kind of what we've got, and I've got a hell of a journey that's brought me through this kind of stuff, but that ability to explore out on your own and then come back and say, this is what I want to do with it. That is an unprecedented amount of learning for someone at such a young age to get, but it has served me masterfully, because
AJ, let's be real, I have had roles thrown at me before where I was like, I don't even know why would I even do this? This is terrifying! And it's kind of the same thing when we talk about jumping into consulting. Doing that big jump, that first big... my God, it's terrifying.
And so the ability to learn and explore and go seek things out and bring back and put into place, that is a growth mentality for sure, and it is one of the things I'm most proud about in my professional and personal development has been my growth mindset, because I've got lots of journeys down that path, I'm sure we could explore if you'd like to, because it does, it's landed me to where I am today. So I'm happy to talk about those even further if you want to.
Building the Strategy Elevation Alliance
AJ: Well, I want to go down... your growth mindset has served you well recently, because when we talked earlier, you mentioned that this is your third time running a consulting business.
Tommy: Yep.
AJ: But this time, you've formed an alliance with some incredibly experienced partners.
Tommy: Yes, ma'am.
AJ: So what made you decide to take this collaborative approach instead of going solo again?
Tommy: So it's interesting. So the ones that I did before... anytime I consulted, so I've consulted since I was 24. Side gigs, just on the side, running, so close to 20 years. I've been an independent side hustle kind of consultant where I've done those pieces. I've had it to where it was doing good on some years, and it would just bring in a little extra income. Some years it would just be passive, and it's like, okay, it was there. But it was never the full tilt, ready to go in.
I knew when it was time, and it was going to be the right time, I would feel it, I would sense it. I don't know what it would be. In between, you know, moving from a job to this job, would it be... I don't know, you meet the right people! Oh, and that AJ, that's really where it happens, is this network that has been created over the years. For the last, let's just call it decade, I've spent a lot of time really fostering strong relationships with people that I work with inside and outside of organizations.
What that's led to was that this journey, this step in the completion of one work we just got done. Two of the folks that I worked directly with in that last organization, we've established a consulting alliance. And on top of that, we've brought in two additional partners with us as well that has done work with us in the past. So we really have created a joint effort.
Now, we have folks who are... I'm happy to share who those folks are, because they're just powerhouses of folks, and what they did was they opened up this idea around alliance. And how creating a powerful network of people, like-minded thinking people, and frankly, diverse thinking people, which allow for us to create a greater offering, you can cover more spread, you find partnership opportunities for putting promotional efforts out.
And the next thing you know, you have, frankly, a guerrilla-marketed, a grassroots-efforted LinkedIn page, which is driving traffic, and we're doing things like having organic conversations, and naturally finding new ways of doing... and great channels, and finding media like this to be able to be on.
It's really unique because what it does is, while all of us are in that pool of looking and finding and sourcing and doing, we've created our own methodology for working together, our own process and workflow. We've standardized that. We have really significant partnerships with great tools and resources that are out there to be able to learn about the businesses we're going into.
And on top of that, I have an incredible skill set around project and program management, and driving excellence operations. That's my jam. That is what I do. So what I was able to really do is lean into their great ability to execute at the C-suite level, as a facilitator and as an operator, and what was wild was, we got our first big opportunity right out of the gate, and in a few weeks, we'll have the chance to be able to talk about it.
But what I can say is, holy cow, you need to be with people. You need to have a team of people around you that you can lean into. If you're going alone, don't go alone. Like, go find somebody! And if you need to pay them to go do it or pay them to do some aspect of work, share in the reward with them, because frankly, you'll need them. Or, if you've got a great network, hey, help me source something. Help me find this opportunity. Let me give you a kicker, let me give you a commission to be able to do that. There are different ways that we can do this.
But it's just got to be the practice of having people around you. Because I could not go on this path, I couldn't, I wouldn't have. I would not have made the decision to go this way if I didn't have people.
AJ: Yeah, yeah. So true. And you talk about your alliance as having... there's a tight circle, and then there's a wider circle.
Tommy: Yep.
AJ: Right? Can you talk about that structure a little bit more?
Tommy: Absolutely. So what's really neat is my principal partners are John Elliott and Terry Hill, and those are two principal partners of mine. And then we have Leonardo Inghaleri and Kathy Allen. So those are the four people that I work directly with. And we are, I would say we are structured as a horizontal, not vertical structure. So there's nobody above anybody. We are all, it's a meritocracy at its finest, so I have just as much of a say in what we do as anything else.
Now, what does that do? Because that is our principal five, that's the core. Then we have what we call an extended network. And the extended network is folks who we work with from a strategic partnership standpoint, or folks that we would bring in to be able to consult along with us on projects.
So I'll give you some examples. We have recently just partnered with Bentley Price Associates, which is a globally recognized hospitality recruitment firm that is run by Dennis and Frank Rizzo out of Santa Barbara County, California. The reason that partnership makes sense is because when you have the ability to place an executive, your executive recruitment firm is placing them in, and you also have an offering that can go along with that.
That's a great way to be able to launch a strategic offering or a transformation service in behind. So it's a really strong opportunity to be able to do that. But additionally, we've had other folks that we've worked with along the way. We've had other consultants who we've worked with, and here's the beautiful thing about it. We don't plan on competing with other consultants.
We feel like that there's enough work to go around, and so we want to create strong partnership opportunities with people who are talented in certain areas, and so what we've done is we've reached out to folks that we've known over the years and said, hey, if we ever came across a project that had a specific flavor to it that required a certain skill set, would you be open to us reaching out?
And so far, and rightfully, I can count eight different people across a variety of disciplines who've said, absolutely, I'd love to be a part of that. If you guys are finding work, cool, I'm here. So we feel very fortunate that we've been able to leverage our circles and our networks to be able to create this bigger circle of folks who we can lean on and who we can work with.
That's what the alliance is really about, is creating this expansive network of really talented people who don't compete, but instead collaborate. And I think that that really makes us strong and unique, and gives us the opportunity to be able to extend our reach into industries and into spaces that I don't think we would be able to go if we just did it on our own.
Business Development and Client Acquisition Strategy
AJ: That's critically important. You mentioned that you are acting as the, sort of, chief marketing officer, the CMO for the Alliance.
Tommy: Yes, ma'am.
AJ: And so you're building your LinkedIn presence, you're doing HubSpot integration, you're doing website development. What is your current approach to actually getting clients and starting conversations with potential buyers?
Tommy: Sure, yeah, so we've got quite a few of those, so if you don't mind, it might be a little bit of a longer answer. I think you're understanding I give longer answers, so I apologize right now, but I'll walk through, kind of, some of the exploration we've gone to try to generate that business revenue.
First thing we wanted to do is make sure that we found a target, and so we've targeted and put criteria in place for searches and identifying folks that we would want to go after that fit the criteria built. So we've put very specific criteria around the search parameters that we would look for for businesses. I'll make this up... I won't give you our true criteria, but we look at things like revenue, CEO tenure, recent turnover of CEO tenure. Are they publicly traded? Are they privately owned? Are they owned by a capital management company?
So there are things that we ran through... then you've got revenue size, you've got number of team members, you've got number of pieces. So we try to take a holistic view at it, not only just from the way of the demographics of it, but also what are some of the operating model or operating decisions strategically they've made within the last few years.
So we have a direct focus that's going out that path. We also have done some really unprecedented and really strong relationship building, but partnership establishments. So I'll give you two examples. We recently started a partnership and announced a partnership with Bentley Price Associates. Dennis Rizzo and his son, Frank, they operate that out of Santa Barbara, California, Santa Barbara County, California, and they are a widely, globally recognized hospitality executive recruitment firm.
And so that partnership and establishment of that partnership means that as Dennis and Frank go to place top-level executives, they offer additional services, which he can then say, hey, we have an alliance that we partner with called Strategy Elevation Alliance, and what they do is work in partnership with you when you get in to really help you land successfully.
So can you imagine the power of placement of a CEO fostered by the transformational or strategic work that can be done on the backside of service offerings. So that's another one, not to mention that Frank and Dennis have an outstanding presence on LinkedIn and everything they have in their network, so it is a wonderful, wonderful way for us to be able to get... and that's just one piece of it.
We've gone down and we looked back and tried to find endorsements from prior clients, which was no-brainer for us. We've been able to get that. Our friends over at GoLeanSixSigma.com. Carlo is the CEO out there. I've known Carlo for 10 years. I've used their platforms, all the way back when I was at Ameristar St. Charles. We were talking a long, long time ago, so pre-Choctaw Nation.
For me, this is an outstanding opportunity for me to be a reseller for them, but they've got outstanding tool sets, but that partnership again, now we go in, we've got these cadences and these repetitions, these tool sets that we have, and not to mention, these are people who are putting that out. We've got case studies on the work that we've done with them. We've got the ability to be able to articulate and demonstrate what we've done.
And so that way of really getting out and finding that, those are ways that we're generating that information through there. Additionally, we've taken on LinkedIn. We've taken on LinkedIn as a pretty driving hotspot for us. The one that we've seen the best of is the business page for Strategy Elevation Alliance.
That's where we've got, so John Elliott, who is one of our folks I'm gonna discuss or talk to you about, and I've also introduced you to. John has been featured on a podcast, and we've got those linked onto that Strategy Elevation Alliance LinkedIn site. We've done the premium services, which allow for us to create the service pages, and then also get service requests. We're averaging about 7 service requests a week that are coming through that medium as well.
Then, of course, it's the creation of all of the materials and the collateral and how you're doing that. Okay, let's just call it out there. I am not a graphic designer by trade. I'm pretty sure you could figure that out. But do you want to know what I am by trade? I'm creative, and I can explore, and if you train me on how to do it... So Canva has been absolutely fantastic.
And if we want to talk AI at some point, the AI application into our space of consulting worlds and how that stands to really, really level us all up. And it really needs to be seen as leveling up, not replacing, and none of the things that we can do, it's how you take what you do, and then make what you do even tighter, better, more reformed, more refined, more elevated. And those are kind of the things that we're focused on with doing that as well.
So we've got all of that. We've got post-communications, we're trying to do... I'm building... oh, when you mentioned, and thank you for mentioning, the CRM development. And so some of the work, obviously, that I offer, I'm a customer experience and team member experience expert as well, some of the things not on the process and transformations, I've done the team member and customer experience platforms as well.
So for me, doing a CRM is really, really vital for us. So what I've actually done, I've been really kind of creative with my costing. If I told you the money that I've put out of pocket to develop the entire business, you'd freak out. You'd be like, no way. And I'm like, yeah, I really did. I've kept it under $700 to formulate and form everything that we've needed to do for all of this. And that's the wild part about finding the right subscriptions, leveraging AI, making sure that you understand.
There are things that can help you click through workflows, create you true workflows, so that if I ask it something crazy, like, hey! If I have an M365 software subscription. I use you, Claude Pro, ChatGPT Pro, I've got this stack of technology that I use. I'm also looking to use Apollo.io, I'm looking to use HubSpot. I want to make sure that I have the linkages from LinkedIn, and that brings over to be able to pull this all together.
And what's so wonderful is when you go through and actually lay that out with the tech stack, it can come back to you and say, I can walk you through step-by-step, how to get that done, Tommy. So I can become a coder, or I can become a developer, but that's what the power of us being able to do this... I can keep my cost structure down because, again, an earlier conversation was, I don't mind going out and figuring out how to do something.
And I'll turn around and try and do it, because I'll build the capability, and you know me, I think the words that'll come out of here, I'll automate it, I'll figure out how to standardize it and then automate it for us, and then we actually have a capability and function that works for the strategy elevation line. So I'm building my website.
But I'm gonna build an anchor page or a back page to it that's going to be where we use the CRM, so that I can use HubSpot to creatively help fund, or creatively help source clients. It's just kind of being creative in what you can do, leveraging, and these were workflows I wouldn't have just been thinking about unless I was in this position. I was in a feast or famine mode, because it makes me get in it and get after it.
That's it. There's nothing else to it. It's like, bro, wake up and get to work, or it ain't gonna be no work. So it's kind of this mentality of, man, I gotta get up, I gotta get up every day, and I think everybody who'd be listening to this would know the challenge that there's that 5 or 6 a.m. alarm clock that goes off, and it's like, I don't really have to get up today. I don't really need to do my yoga today. I don't really need to make sure I go and walk that dog today. I don't need that vitamin D from outside today. I don't need to write that down in my journal today.
And those are all things that end up, I think, taking away from our clarity of being able to execute on those things.
Daily Practices and Modern Stoicism
AJ: Yeah, it's funny, I feel... I do the same kinds of things in the morning, and I find it so funny that there are times when I'm laying in bed, and it's like, I don't wanna. But I really do, because I know how good they make me feel, and how important they are for me to be able to do what I do. So I have to override the, I don't wanna, it's so nice and cozy, I just wanna roll over and go back to sleep.
Tommy: Well, I'm a... look, I'm a modern Stoic in practice, is kind of what I call myself. And that's because, look, I've got all of this pulsing energy that comes out, and it radiates, and I've got a control in how I do it, and most people see Stoicism as, it is what it is, and this is what it is. No, no!
Stoicism, like so many things, like the let them theory... have you heard that one from Mel Robbins? They're very similar in stoicism. Actually, Mel and Ryan Holiday were on a podcast, on the Daily Stoic podcast together, and it was awesome, epically awesome, because here's somebody who's saying, remember. Let them be what they are, don't give them the control, don't give them the energy, the space, and what does Stoicism teach us? You control what you can control.
And so so much of what you're just talking about there is this idea of, look, I can get up today and I can make myself better. I don't really want to, it's really hard today. That's why I call myself a modern stoic in practice, because it may seem like you have it all, getting it together, and you're trying to get... and there's still those days. You wake up and you're like, I want to sleep till 10 o'clock, man, because why? Who's stopping me right now? It's that desire to... that hunger, that feast or famine, frankly. You talk about the gaps, you talk about... that's a big gap. That's not a small gap!
So when you start to see those, that's why things start to feel better, and you start to reassess your situation, you start to understand, okay, that may be where I've lived all along, financially, while I've been stacking up there. I'm just making small moderations so that I can learn how to get back to that. And I guarantee you, on the backside of that, I'm gonna be much more financially stable, because we took a moment to almost reset.
So it's like the timing couldn't be better on a fresh reset. I can feel myself starting to pull away from my prior self. I don't know if you guys have ever felt that before, or AJ, if you've ever felt that, that pulling apart from yourself when you're leveling up, almost, it's like, whatever is not serving me is still just dragging on.
AJ: Pulling it, yep.
Tommy: I can feel it. So just, again, I'm happy to talk about my journey, because whatever. It's good for people to hear. I'm 43 years old, and I'm, this afternoon, literally going to dial in and see about what I have to do for my ADHD. I've done all of the testing, I've done all of the... I mean, the guy looked at me, he was like, bro, whatever you've done, congratulations, you figured it out on how to use it and be successful, and not let it hamper you, and I'm like, yeah, but it's hampering me now.
Now it's pulling me aside, and I've got so much freedom and autonomy that the freedom and autonomy, how do I narrow everything I'm focused on? And I'm sure everybody who's watching this understands that. You wake up in the morning in that LinkedIn feed, and all you want to do is scroll, scroll, scroll. And you got things you have to... and you get lost in it. And it's like, I've got my other things I have to get done, and so I'm trying to figure out.
I've worked the last four months on putting structure to my day in the midst of all of this, so I actually have set times, and I know what days I work, and then set times of when I do my posting and my work, and then I time block in what my day looks like down to the 30-minute increment. That way, I know what my deliverables look like every day. That way I don't find myself 8 hours into the day wondering where my time went. I now am sitting there and going, okay, do I get this deliverable done? Great!
I've knocked out 80% of what I needed to do today, so I can walk away at 3 o'clock in the afternoon and go ride my bike. That's incredible! And so, using structure and discipline, which I'm really fortunate that I have a strong military family, so that's kind of where that comes from. I've learned a lot of those habits, and then my coaching, and my leadership mentoring, and the teachings of other people, and the support networks I've had along the way, and my wife for sure, is a big one. I can tell you our relationship has always been about structure and routine, and our… it's one of the reasons we work so well in a business agreement, and I love my wife, so I don't want her to go anywhere.
So let's just... she puts up with me, and that's not an easy thing. So let's just do everything I can to keep her around, is kind of my idea. So those are really the big things right now I've been focusing on to get that scared mentality of fear, because fear doesn't serve us in any of that place.
For me, it's what I recognize every morning. I sense it. We did our breathing, we did our box breathing. And I can do it, and that's where I can make sure I'm processing things out like that before I start my day. It is why my physical routine and my metaphysical routine is so important to me in the morning because it puts me in that headspace.
The Power of Daily Habits and Journaling
AJ: That's critically important. You mentioned earlier about the importance of keeping yourself in tune through daily practices. How have those daily habits served you throughout this journey?
Tommy: So journaling has allowed for me to start to study about what I'm doing, how I'm logging hours in my day, how I'm capturing what I'm spending my time on, what I'm not spending my time on, more importantly. That's the gap. Then I've got a growth model. Now I can say, okay, what am I focused on?
Perfect example. I need to be more coaching in my forward moments with people, and when I'm sitting in those pieces, I don't want to be as... giving answers. I want to be more about, come to me with this. So I'm focusing in on the coaching habits and things like that. It's just exploring out where I know it's there, and these tools have given me the ability to assess myself into that growth model and mentality, and then just go find the things that are out there when I have the time to work on them. And that's really kind of how I've always filled in my blanks. Because I've had a ton of blanks.
Line cook. Line cook. Failed out of college. Everything was gone. It was just there. And the way that I got in it was somebody asked me to sell them a Coke. So I sold him a Coke, and I started serving tables. Next thing you know... So that's kind of how they've served me throughout the days.
I'll be honest with you, every single day of building habits is another... it's another daunting struggle for all of us. It's that motivation of doing it. I think really what it is, is don't be mad at yourself when you're doing the things, and that's the biggest lesson I've learned from all of these different habits of creating these daily routines, because I mean, I have a daily map that shows me I'm here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and that's just to help me keep focused. If I miss, it kind of throws me off.
How am I gentle with myself? How am I learning about that? And that's really where I've used those tools to kind of help me. Now, if you bring it into the alliance, that toolset that I have, and what I'm able to provide also, because I'm learning in gapped areas, all of the people that I'm working with, we've all been with either in corporations or in big jobs, or big consulting gigs for the last 5 years.
There's a whole new platform sitting out here. There's a lot of education, and all 4 of my partners... no, 3 of my 4 partners... 3 of my 4 other partners are boomers. And so we have a technology component to this as well, which is allowing for me these daily practices of how I'm kind of keeping myself in tune and keeping myself focused helps me to not overwhelm folks who I get to talk to about some of these pieces, which could be very, very, very easily overwhelming.
But it's making us build an even better alliance, some of our marketing efforts, and some of the things that we're trying to do, because we're leveraging these technology platforms. And that's kind of how I'm using all of those builds, and how I'm kind of advancing, and then, of course, then, I don't know how to get over imposter syndrome of working with some of these folks. You see the name John Elliott, Terry Hill, Leonardo Inghaleri, and Kathy Allen, and I go, man, those are just my friends. But to other people, those are good names.
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
AJ: You are their equals. In the alliance, you are.
Tommy: Yes, ma'am.
AJ: It's funny that you bring up the imposter syndrome, sitting at the table with partners who are 18 to 25 years older, and have built multi-million dollar businesses. What do you... how have you... how do you combat that imposter syndrome when it hits you? And it sounds like it, imposter syndrome never really goes away. So how do you handle that? I mean, you're playing in a really big pond now with these really big hitters. So how do you manage the times when that voice in your head says you're not worthy. You shouldn't be in this group?
Tommy: Listen, there's a couple things that have happened along the way that have always been like this. So two things. I've been fortunate enough to work in organizations where I've had executive coaching, okay? So first hands down, I have a very, very, very... I've had a very fortunate journey. I've had an executive coaching since I was 34 years old. So it's a very... and it's been the same one. How about that? I've had the same executive coach for almost 10 years. I'm talking to her Wednesday afternoon.
So we're meeting, and again, it's one of those things where I have... let me tell you how I've used it, and this is a recent conversation, so I'm sorry, I'm kind of jumping, but this one is a very targeted conversation. My wife and I recently were talking about this. And I said, you know, it's just so strange, because... I almost use my wife as the sniff test, as the BS test. The Tommy BS test. How's that? Alright, so it's almost as if...
I've been very fortunate to receive accolades, I've been very fortunate to receive praise from people on things, and if you've talked to these other folks, they will say very, very nice things, and I love them for that. My wife has kind of been my check, if I'm being honest with you, because sometimes I'll say... I'll tell her about the story, and then I'll turn around and be like, can you kind of believe that?
And she was like, well, yeah, it's you. And I'm like, no, no, that's... no, woman, listen to me! That's not what I'm talking about! No, listen! They're saying these good things, and I don't really see that. And she's like, Tommy. These people are not going to bring you down this path. They are not going to sit at tables with you. They're not going to put your name on everything that is y'all. They're not going to put somebody at the table they don't want. And you know those people.
And I said, I know. It's funny because I've gone almost from... going from the kid looking up and idolizing everybody, and they're the kind of people that I've idolized always. John Terry and Leonardo, as a business kid, that's just what I've always been. And so I studied people like them, I've watched, and now I'm sitting here at tables with them.
And it's really, really difficult to think that I deserve to be here. And more and more, though, because what I do lands with what they're trying to execute, and I'm capable of really doing those things. And loving to be in that circle with them? I think that is what helps me get past it, but my wife being that sniff test is really what it is.
Because I'm almost to the point of, okay, I belong here, I can... I belong here. And then there's days when I'm like, I don't know. I know that this is right, I can't... and then this is my wife. Get back over there, what's wrong with you? And it's that battle, and so what I... I giggle, RuPaul calls it your inner saboteur. And she says, if they're not paying your bills, don't pay them no mind. And it's kind of that idea.
We go back to Stoicism, we go back to any of these let them theories, it is about this idea that we cannot give that sinister brain of ours any energy that says, you can't do this. Because I gotta be honest with you, I don't have time to be able to sit here and fight with, you can't do this.
The Reality of Building a Consulting Practice
Tommy: I gotta go make money. I gotta make money, I gotta put food on the table. We're hungry, not we. I mean, the people are hungry that are out there doing this, and these are people that are not looking for 5... 5... this is 6 and 7...
AJ: This is big stuff. This is big stuff.
Tommy: And this is where, again, you focus on it, and I will tell you, the big stuff, yes, we're going for it, it's gonna be there, but I am in such a place that I have to drive... I drive for Walmart, locally here, delivering groceries, so that I can have cash to keep cash... not coming out of our savings account.
And the reason that is, is because I believe in what we're doing. I would not be running around, driving cars, delivering groceries if I didn't believe in this. So that helps me check the imposter syndrome as well. It's kind of that reality and gut check of, Thomas, you're doing this, you're clearly doing this because this is what you think is right, this is where you see it's right. The time and timing is speaking to you, and it is, because that time and timing conversation...
Every time I say the words out loud to other people, when I talk about what I'm doing, they all go, holy cow, Tommy, and I go... I hadn't seen it that way before, because I was in the forest.
Articulating Your Value
Tommy: I think that's a lot of what we see, is it's in the forest and you can't see through it. And sometimes, I tell everybody else, if you're doing something great, it's your responsibility to tell people. And if that's the case, and you've got something strong that's happening, and you need to be able to articulate it, talk about it, because that gives you the confidence and the strength of what you're trying to say.
And frankly, people see you doing those things, and they feel that relational build, which I've expressed to you, relationships are my jam. If I don't have the relationships, we don't have business. If I don't have the relationships inside, we don't have success or movement or traction. We don't have transformation. So that's where...
Connecting with Tommy
AJ: Yep, relationships, absolutely. Well, we are at the end of our time for the podcast, but I have one really, really important question. How can listeners connect with you if they want to learn more about you and your work in the Alliance?
Tommy: Please, you can just search my name through LinkedIn and grab to me, and then on there, you'll see a link over to Strategy Elevation Alliance. I've got one for my small company, but this is far less about my small company. My company is really in service of making this stand up on the Alliance. I have other things and offerings.
I can do fractional chief officer roles for almost any capacity, the ability to be able to do that as well as the service offering for me. But the big one with the Strategy Elevation Alliance, which is really out there to help support this crew, which is where we'll drive the primary, it'll be through LinkedIn, and it's Strategy Elevation Alliance, and if you search that inside of LinkedIn as well, it'll go there. That's our main page. We've got service requests portal through there as well.
If you'd like to learn more about it, you can be able to go right through there and see it. You'll see inside of there, you'll see everybody that's associated with it as well. You have John Elliott, you have Terry Hill, you'll have Leonardo Inghaleri, and you'll have Kathy Allen. So all of my principal partners at the Alliance as well are in there, too.
AJ: Fantastic. Well, it has been wonderful speaking with you today. Thank you so much for being on the podcast.
AJ: And for all of you who are listening, until next time, keep thriving through.